My heart is with Beautiful Gate. It is impossible to give words to the gratitude, love, and connection that I have to that wonderful place. To the people who have raised my son.
In December 2019, we were matched with a four-year-old boy: Pokane. Thrilled, overjoyed, and desperate to meet him…our adoption was finalized on March 19th, 2020. We planned on all of us going to Lesotho for the month of April - his mama (Michelle, my wife), his brother (our son, Ethan, who is thirteen years old), and me.
But…the South African border was shut on the 15th of March due to COVID 19. And we waited.
And waited. And waited. For seven excruciating months.
Finally, on October 1st, South Africa and Lesotho opened their borders to foreign travellers. On October 2nd, I was on a flight to Johannesburg. I left Michelle and Ethan in Canada and headed to meet our boy. Drove from Johannesburg to Maseru over the Lesotho border. And on the morning of the 5th of October, I entered the doors of Beautiful Gate to meet my son.
Lindiwe and several of her staff sat with me to answer the many many questions that I had. They were patient. Kind. Helpful and loving. Any and all anxiety that I may have had was lifted. This was clearly a beautifully run facility - and these were clearly professionals who cared profoundly for the children they raised.
Then came the moment.
Pokane was walked into the main room. He shrieked in delight at seeing me and raced full throttle into my arms. We spent the next moments exploring each other’s faces and laughing. And…perhaps…Papa shed a few tears of joy. We were instantly in love. Papa and Pokane. In no time, we were running in circles and laughing, already making up silly games.
We spent the next five days in Lesotho, getting to know each other, bonding, playing, and being inseparable. Pokane, was an energetic, curious, intelligent, joyful, full-of-beans, delight of a boy. Healthy.
Travelling in the time of a pandemic is difficult. And yet…it has some advantages. I may have been the only foreign visitor to Lesotho in seven months! Everywhere we went we were greeted with “Lumela!” And at the Trading Post in Roma, where we stayed, we had free run of the picaresque place. The staff became friends and helped Pokane and I develop our distinct new language: Sesothenglish (Sesotho + English).
At the end of our five days, we returned to Beautiful Gate for our goodbye ceremony. We were again greeted as family, and surrounded by smiles. Pokane was all dressed up in his best shirt and sweater and proudly walked me through the grounds. He was especially happy to show me Pula 1 and the bed he had slept in. He hugged and kissed and thanked each of the Mamas, the Nurse, Lindiwe and Peter saying to everyone: “Kea leboha!!!”
At one point, Pokane ran through a door, and before Lindiwe could stop me, I followed…and walked right into a room of young faces all looking up at me. Instantly there were screams and
squeals of joy, and each and every child ran up to me to greet me. I picked one little girl up to say “Lumela!” And suddenly had twenty or thirty little ones all shrieking “N’kuke!!!” (Lift me up!) And so I did. Each and every one. By the end of it, I was lying on the floor surrounded by children, all of us laughing…and my heart bursting through my chest.
One gentle, sweet little boy struck me the most. He has huge kind eyes…deep in intelligence. It was hard to finally leave to head to the ceremony.
The “GoodBye Ceremony” may be intended for Pokane, but it was also a right of passage for all of us. Outside, under the gazebo, we sang, heard the mamas talk, prayed, and lifted Pokane up to God and over to this new chapter in his life. A theme developed in the speeches from the wonderful, selfless, and loving women who raised Pokane, that: (1) he was very special to them; (2) that he’s a rambunctious little guy; and (3) that it looks like he’s been given a perfect match with his Daddy, who is also energetic! I have never in my life laughed so hard through tears.
And I have never felt so blessed, so warm, so comforted and so a part of something rich and whole as I did that day. And I realized a few things: how hard all these people work for these children. And how hard it must be to let them go, even when they know that they are joining their forever families. I also realized that not only have we been blessed with the gift of a son… and we have also inherited a family: Beautiful Gate.
Now we are united: Pokane with his Mama, Papa, and Abuti. And we are bonding beautifully. Our home is filled with laughter, energy, bath times, games, reading, music, dancing, and saying grace in Sesotho at mealtime.
And as I watch my son and his curiosity, his huge heart, his intelligence and voracious desire to learn and explore … with each moment I raise my eyes to God and thank Him for the women who raised him, the care he was given, and for each and every person at Beautiful Gate.
Postscript: Our relationship to BG isn’t over. It’s just starting:
Profoundly touched by the faces in the windows of the Pula, and all the little voices crying out “pick me up” to me - I have made a pledge to help out in a specific way.
When I think of the diligent and compassionate care that those kids receive, it breaks my heart knowing many won’t be matched with a forever family, and won’t be able to remain at BG.
When Peter described the plans for the “Peka Project”…I knew I was being called to action. Knowing that I could help in some way to aid in building a facility for kids six to eighteen years of age, giving them a home in the countryside where they could grow up loved, safe, and learn the skills that would give them a better adult life, I knew I had to help.
I pledge to do my best to raise funds for the project. As a thank you to BG. And for all those beautiful faces that grew up as Pokane’s Beautiful Gate brothers and sisters.